A New Chapter

- Think Before You Say It -

2012-01-16T06:12:00.000-08:00

If you said "I don't care"...
What is the reason that I sacrifice my sleep...
Wait for you to finish work...
And stay up late?

Because I wanted to call you and talk to you...
And you tell me that I don't care about you!?

If you said "I'm selfish"...
Who is the one who took off...
Didn't care about my feelings...
And make own decisions?

I always think about you first before I make my decision...
I always ask your opinion before I make my decision...
And you said that I'm selfish!?

If you said "I judge a book by it's cover"...
I agreed sometimes I just assume...
But think about it...
Have you even give me an accurate answer?

But now you are assuming...
Therefore you are doing the same too...
And you said I always judge a book by it's cover!?

You never care about my feelings...
Throw me around and just made your own decision...
And you turn around and said that I'm selfish...
I don't care about you...
and I like to judge...

What about yourself?
Please listen to yourself first...
And look at what you have done...
before you start saying those things to me...
'Cause those things you said to me are really hurting me!!

- 八月十三号 -

2011-08-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

今天对某个人来说是个很特别的日子，可是对我来说又是另一个心疼的一天。

一个小宝宝诞生，一个圆满的家庭就从这里开始。原本这些都是属于我的 - 一个好男朋友，一个好丈夫，一个小宝宝，一个圆满的家庭；本来这些所发生的一切都是属于我的。就是因为一个又自私又矛盾的人，就是因为他做错了决定，把所有原本可以拥有的一切都统统拿走。

我其实很不甘心，为什么我原来就可以得到的却被他那样的行为一手毁掉。我其实很想当做什么又没发生过，开开心心的去祝福他；可是我我一直都做不到。每一次我对他说“我为你开心”时，其实我心里不是那样想的；我心里很不舒服，很不甘心，一直都在埋怨。不知道为什么我还那么傻，一直都放不开这段感情，一直都在埋怨着是‘她’抢走了属于我的东西。

到这里，我已经不知道要怎样写下去了，我自己也描述不到我一直以来原有的心情，我只能说的是我很不甘愿，我想把所有属于我的东西拿回来 - 可能是妒嫉吧。。。嗯！应该是妒嫉。。。

- You Are Different -

2011-07-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

From all the people that I know, you are very different compare to the others...

That is why you are so special to me no matter how much you have hurt me...

From my memories:

You are so different from all the others that I knew.....
You are very loving and caring...
You always care for me and love me with all your heart...
You always be there for me when I need help, even until know that you have left me...
You always looks after me when I'm sick and when I'm so reluctant to look after myself...
You gave me hugs when I'm upset...
And you keep me company when I'm lonely...

You are the only one who understand me well...
You know all about me inside out...
You know what I'm thinking just like you can read my mind...
You know how's like when I'm upset and stress...
I'm very surprised that you can understand me from head to toes....

You are a very good listener...
You listen every single words I said...
You can memorised every single words...
Most of all...
You never forget every thing that I said...

Everything you have is what I am looking for...
But sadly you have now belong to someone else...
Although there are a very big changes and you do it lesser...
But you never stop loving and care for me...
Thats why you are so different...

- 说与想比做的还要容易 -

2011-06-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

我忽然间发觉到原来有好多事情我很想去做，可是却又害怕跌到了不能再爬起来。在这几天里，我想了好久好久，我正在想我是否因该放手，是不是时候把他忘了。想了好久，当我下定决心要把他忘了的时候，我又害怕我忽然间失去了他，永远都看不到他了。

有很多东西都很矛盾，为什么一个那么简单的东西却变得好像很复杂？我记得前几天，因为心情不好所以到河边去走走- 河岸的那条路好长好长，我边走边想，想起好多以前我们在一起那些快乐的回忆，突然间眼泪就开始流下。其实我除了想起我们的回忆，我也在想是不是时候放手呢？想了好久，也哭了好久，不知不觉已快要走到尽头了，前面快要没路可走了，我慢下了脚步，站在那里发呆。发呆了5分钟，看着河水流啊流，我对着自己说：“我是不是不因该放手，一直紧紧地抓着他，开发新的路程一直走下去？或者是转身走回到开头点，把以前的回忆都留在后面，把手放开，把他忘了，重新开始？” 我站在那里好久，始终都没有一个答案....... 到后来我还是选着了走回原点，可是我还没决定我是否把手放开。我一直都没有给我自己一个答案，是可能我到现在还是不敢面对事实，害怕永远都失去了他。

今天，我见回他，我把我心里的话告诉他 - 我告诉他我因该是时候放他走了，可是我又和他说我其实很害怕失去他 - 我觉得我自己很矛盾！当他要走的时候，我们拥抱了很久，他还叫我紧紧握着他的手，可是我却没有那么做，我把手放开，走回屋里去。我走到一半，我很舍不得，转身回头望一望他最后一次，眼泪就开始流下来。那一瞬间，我才发觉到原来我真的很舍不得他，我依然还是很爱他，很舍不得放手。

始终，我还是做不到，我才发觉到，原来我所要做的比我所说的，我所想的还要难，一点都不容易，一点都不简单。

- 原来 -

2011-06-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

三天已过，今天是第四天了，我也忍了好几天- 好几天没和他通电话了，也没有发短讯给他 - 自从他的大日子我已经好几天没听到他的声音，也没听到他的消息了。我都以为我能够过关不去想，可是到后来（今天）我终于都忍不住地想起他，看回他的照片........ 后来眼泪不知不觉得流下。

哭了好久，眼泪仍然还在流，也都不知道流了多久，然后才发现，原来我还是舍不得，舍不得放弃, 也舍不得离开 - 因为原来我爱他爱得太深了。

- 我以为 -

2011-04-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

Lately I have no idea how to express my feelings and thought that is in my mind, therefore I have been using songs to express myself. This song “我以为” by 品冠 is the most perfect song right now to express everything inside me - what I think and how I feel.

"你说不想有天让我知道
你对他有那么好
你说会懂我的失落
不是靠宽容就能够解脱"

I remembered he once told me: "I don't know how to tell you this and I don't know how to explain it to you. It's very complicated and I don't really want you to know, because it's gonna hurt you." I don't exactly understand what is he trying to tell me but I said to him: "I think I understand what you're going through but I couldn't tolerate everything, tolerance can't solve everything that have just happened."

"我以为我出现的时候刚好
你和他正说要分开
我以为你已对他不再期待
不纵容他再给你伤害"

Few months back in the past: I knew that he broke up with her and I thought he has no intend to go back to her.

"我以为我的温柔
能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力
填满你感情的缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生"

For once I thought that I have gave him my best and tried my best to give him happiness but I think I'm too naive to hope that he will be treating me back as how I have treated him.

"我以为终究你会慢慢明白
他的心已不在你身上
我的关心你依然无动于衷
我的以为只是我以为"

After all the time that we spend together, I thought he understand all the things that I have done for him. Unfortunately, I am just wasting all my time, it was just only my thought, and it's still only my own thought.

"他让你红了眼眶
你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好
你要留在谁的身旁
我以为我够坚强
却一天天的失望
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望"

After a long time, I started to realised that he has already made his choice at the very beginning, that is why no matter how bad she treated him, he continue to forgive her. After all this drama, I thought that I can be very strong but I got more and more disappointed everyday because he has given me lots of hope. Now, how I wish that we never meet before and there shall be no hope at all.

- 错的人-

2011-04-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

明知道爱情并不牢靠但是我还是拼命往里逃
明知道再走可能是监牢但是我还是相信只是煎熬

朋友都勸我不要不要不要拿自己的幸福開玩笑
但是做人已經那麼累假惺惺的想要逃

在爱里连真心都不能給这才真正的可笑

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顧一切滿是傷痕

我太笨明知道你是錯的人
明知道这不是缘分但是我还奋不顾身

可能在爱裡面这样算笨
可能永远沒有所谓永恒
但是我不願放棄這裡面一點點可能寧願笨也不想要悔恨

Knowing that loving the wrong person is already a torture but grabbing onto every tiny bit of chances that you can get is even worst. When loving a person too much, you always willing to sacrifice, do whatever it takes without thinking about the consequences. Even though knowing that it's a stupid thing to do, yet doesn't care much and continue to love - still being in denial.

- I Want You to Know -

2011-04-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

I miss the days when we text each other everyday,
I miss the days we talked each night.

I miss the days you come to me when you're down,
I miss the days you give me hugs and comfort me when I'm sad,
and I miss the days when you keep me company when I'm alone.

I miss the days when you lay next to me,
I miss the days when we make out.

I miss the days we argue over some stupid things,
I miss the days when we said sorry to each other after.

I miss everything that we did together,
I miss the time that we spend together.

Now that you're gone and belong to someone else,
the thing that I miss the most is when you're still single and
always be there for me when I needed you.

- No Title -

2010-12-11T18:14:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to stop thinking about it.....
And I don't know how to stop the tears from falling down....

How can I mend this broken heart?

- I Miss You -

2010-11-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

On the day when you leave...
I did not get a chance to say goodbye...
I did not watch you go...
Why didn't you wait for me?
I was so angry with you...
Because you did not wait for me to come home...
To give me a chance to say goodbye...

You're gone almost 5 months now...
I was still a little angry with you...
You said you will never leave me...
you said you will wait for me to come home...
You said you wanted to see me grow old...
See me graduate...
Celebrate with me when I get my first job...
Watch me get married...
And watch your grandchild grow...
But you did not keep your promises!

I know I was being rude sometimes...
I am sorry...
I know I don't like you sometimes...
Because you're annoying...
But I didn't mean it...

I love you till the max...
I miss your cooking...
I miss your annoying voice...
And last but not least...
I miss you being around...

I really miss you...

I wish you're still here...

- I Miss You -

- A New Chapter -

2010-10-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

It's been long that I have not update my blog...
I am back again....
It is time to update about what's going on with me...

" Something new...
Something interesting...
Something about what happen next..."

My new journey will begin soon...
Stay tune my readers...
Sit and wait...
And enjoy the ride when the right time comes...

Cheers Everyone

- Feelings -

2009-07-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

What's feeling?

Happy...
Sad...
Love...

Those are just part of the feelings...

Actually there are more feelings that are hard to describe...

This few days...

I have some weird feelings inside me...
But I don't know what is that...

I don't know how to described it...

Can't even explaint it or say it out...

It's kind a complicated...

A kind of feelings that is like something missing...

But I don't know what is missing...

A kind of feelings that I am missing someone...

But I don't know who's that some one...

A kind of feeling that called lonely...
But I am surrounded by poeple everyday...

A kind of feelings that is like empty inside me...

But I dont know why I'm feeling empty...

A kind of feelings that my heart is sore and broken...

I am surrounded by happy moments everyday....

What make me feel all this?

I was wondering...

Every morning...

I weke up...

I put myself to work to make myself busy...

So that I can forget all the complicated feelings...

When comes to night time...

As soon as I go back to my little room...

My feelings will come back naturally...

When comes to bed time...

I don't dare to sleep even I am so sleepy and tired...

I don't dare to close my eyes...

Because as soon as I closed my eyes...

I feel something...

Something that I don't feels good about it...

I don't know how long these feelings has stay inside me...

It's really so annoying and irritating...

I really hate these kind of feelings...

It takes away all my spark...

Putting me in a dark situation...

I hate staying in the dark...

I want light...

I need light to lead me to the exit of this feelings...

I have been trying to work hard to escape from these feelings...

I tried to listen music...

I tried to relax myself...

I tried to make myself busy...

I even tried to talk to someone...

But everytime when I thought that those feelings has gone...

The feelings will re-appear itself...

I really don't know how to explaint about it...

Even myself is confused about the feelings...

I really run out of ideas how to describe it...

Can someone tell me what kind of feeling is that?

Is there any single word that can descride all of it...

I am really tired of these kind of feelings already...

Can someone please tell me what is that...

What kind of feelings I am having right now...

- The War Begins -

2009-06-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

The war has already started, it has been continued for the past 5 days. All the warriors that has been trained for the past 13 weeks had send out to fight on this battle field. The 1st line of defenders had send out to fight for their life. Looking on whole, they are all prepared with their armors on, one hand with their big strong looking sword and a big strong metal shield on the other. Looking at their faces, is like looking at masks that was selling in the costume store, some are looking pale and scared, some looks so confident like they will win the war, some was experiencing panic attack... whats more to see?! FEAR, DEAD and VICTORY!?

Frankly speaking, I am one of those warrior that already undergone the 13 weeks of training. I wasn't in the 1st line defender, I was in the 2nd line. The past 5 days, I have been practicing on my sword skills and defending skills, some sort is like a revision before I got send out to the field. Somehow somewhat, I don't know what is going on with me, I can't remember any of my skills! I was totally blank! I can't believe all the hard work from the past 13 weeks has turned into waste, has turned into a piece of white paper, a whole new beginning again.

After all the practices, today is the day, the day I that I finally got send out to fight in the field. I was really really nervous, I couldn't sleep the whole night. I got up very early in the morning (about 5.30am) to do my final practice/revision. About at 8am, I put on my armor and check all the equipment that I needed then I am ready to set off to the assemble ground. I grab my sword and shield then head off to the ground. On the way to the ground it was drizzling and cold, in my head I was thinking how would the battle field looks like.

I arrived on the ground, all I can see is a 'blank mask' on the warriors face, all looking so blank, everyone was very very nervous and panic attack strikes most of the warriors, don't need to mention, I am one of them too. I look so strong , well prepared and confident on the outside, but it was just a shell of mine, do not mistaken it. I am very very scared and nervous in the inside, I can feel my heart was beating fast, is like my body produce too much of the adrenaline. The adrenaline is way too much in my body that my heart muscle can't take is anymore. It was beating so fast and hard that I can feel every beat and the sound goes 'thum... thum.... thum...', it was really loud and clear!

All a sudden, a piece of silence, I can hear the breathing, the heart beat of each warrior. Here comes the messenger, passing down a message... This time I say to myself 'this is it, this is the moment, it has come!'. Everyone holding their sword and shield tightly, ready to rush out into the field. An order has send out, everyone rushed into the field and stand in position. After a few seconds of silence, a loud voice was heard, the 'signal', is the signal to begin. All the warrior rushing towards their enemies, pulling out their sword, shield was placed in front for protection and started to fight for their life.

I was standing there looking, I was stunted, I was looking frozen when I open the paper, I was totally blank, I did not even pull my sword out like the other warrior. I stared at the paper for quite awhile, finally I said to myself 'Let's do this, I can do this!' I pulled out my sword and started to run across the field like the other warriors, slashing my enemies down one by one... I was slashing and slashing, blood splashing all over the field. I was so concentrate on the war, so concentrate on bringing the enemies down, I don't even realised time flies. As I was fighting hard across the field, all a sudden I saw the crowded field has turned into a pool of dead bodies, filled with the enemies blood. One by one, my mates was standing tall and proud, waiting for me to slash the last enemies standing on the field. I did it, I brought it down to the ground. It was a victory... 'VICTORY... VICTORY...VICTORY...' they shouted.

Everyone walked out of the battle field, even though some of the warrior knows the final result may not be a victory for them, but they put a smile on their face - showing a sign that they already done with one war. One more war to go, then they will be set free and enjoy the rest of the holiday. I walked out of the field, almost the last one to walked out, there are still a few struggling to escape from the field. As soon as I walked out, I said to myself:'I do not know what the final result will be, but at least it was a relief because I have tried my best to fight for the victory.' I am done with one, like the others, one more to go then I'm free! For the others who are going to take over my position for the next 2 weeks, all I can say is do your best to fight for the victory!

- Hypnotized -

2009-06-10T05:39:00.000-07:00

These few day I have no idea what is wrong with me. I seems like acting weird - can't concentrate in my study while my exam is on this Friday, I tends to day dreaming a lot, feeling nervous, lost sleep and lost my appetite too. I was wondering what is going on with me!? All this sign just started 3 days ago after I talk to a friend on the phone. It started like this:

" My friend called me on a Sunday afternoon, we are having a long conversation. Did I mention it was a he? Yea... is a he. He was asking me when my winter break starts. My winter break starts on the 15th of this month. So he was hoping me to visit Melbourne and spend a couple of days with him during my break because he was missing me and wanted to see me. But the problem is I don't have enough money to pay for the accommodation, I can only afford to pay for the air ticket (parents paying for it... XD). Therefore I said to him that I can't visit him this winter unless I work or else I will not have enough pocket money for the rest of my semester. He seems not quite understand my reason, he keep pushing me and pushing me and giving me lots of option where to stay and blah... blah... blah...!

I was already in a stress mood and he keep forcing me (for those people who know me well, they knows that I have a very high patient level), I don't know how this happen, he was asking me about the reason why I refuses to go to Melbourne, all of a sudden, I was like been hypnotized by someone, I did not know what I am saying the whole time, I lost my patient, burst out and say :' Because I don't see the reason why I have to go to Melbourne!' He was so angry that he hang up on me (I never seen him that angry before, it really scares me). On that time onwards, 'SNAP', I woke up, I can't believe myself that I just say that to him, I hurt him so much that he hang up on me."

After all this happen I realised that I was like been hypnotized the whole time, I did not know what I am doing, I have no idea what I said... this is so weird. Then I woke up, I started to realised that I did something bad that I never did before, I feel so bad and I even scare that I will lost this friendship. I have been thinking about it for days, trying to fix things right but I don't know how... so frustrated! Even though he tell me that he is not mad at me anymore, but I still can feel that he is not happy, he's still upset about what I say and did to him. I start thinking and thinking what I have done, then all the weird sign just pop out - can't concentrated, day dreaming, can't sleep and lost appetide even I feel hungry. This is just so weird! =__=

- The Perfect Drink -

2009-06-03T04:07:00.000-07:00

It has been long.... No rain yet gloomy and extremely cold, sometimes sunny yet still very cold, winter is on the way to visit Tasmania. Today, as usual, my alarm clock rang at 8am, I turn it off and when back to bed. I did not realised is already mid day when I got up... cause the sky was very gloomy and I can hear the sound of the rain drops beating on my window. It's raining! It has been long that Tasmania did not rain, today is the day that I am looking forward. It is cold and cozy, is a nice day to sleep in (rainy day, closing up your curtain, leaving a dark situation, curling under your thick, warm comforter).

Is a 'Sleep In Day' for me, but shameful, very shameful, I can't sleep in for long today, I got whole lot of study to do. I get out of bed, have my brunch (butter and jam sandwich and wholegrain weet-bix with milk) then sat my ass infront of the computer to study. It has been awhile that I studied, still I couldn't concentrate much because of the cold weather. I did turned on the heater, but, as usual, it doesn't seems working perfectly (it only heat the area infront of it - about only one feet ahead, never go futher than that), this so annoying, espcially on a cold and rainy day like this.

So... I gave up on my studies and make myself a cup of hot chocolate (cadbury chocolate powder with a little bit of sugar, cream, milk and of course hot water). Can you imagine, in a cold cold day, having a cup of hot chocolate (the fragrance smell of the mixture of chocolate, milk and cream and the taste of sweetness) with a few home baked cookies, sitting infront of the heater and enjoy some music or reading your favourite book, making you so warm (like a warm hug) and also making you feels like home. That is why I always said hot chocolate is the most perfect drink ever, especially during a cold and rainy day like this - its a perfect drink for winter after all.

- The Last Minutes Moment -

2009-06-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sigh.... 1o more days exam will be coming. Guess what!? I have not done any of my studies yet, not a single reading or lecture note is completely read by me. Isn't that great - I have whole lot of lectures to listen and one big pile of lecture notes to read, there is more - a whole thick Bioscience text book and one Fundalmental of Nursing Book is awaiting for me to read too... Oh Dear! Oh Dear! I'm so dead this time!

Who to blame? Only myslef to blamed... I did nothing good, I say I was going to start after I handed in my last assignment but... There is always a BUT.... I witheld it, I drag and drag and drag, it's already been 2 weeks that I said I am going to start my studies. Eventually, I did not thing apart from watching movie, sitting my ass around and day dreaming and the most fun part is I slept all my time away, having sweet dreams, so enjoyable! As soon as I woke up - there we go again, panic attack is back. Looking at the big pile of papers and stacks of book, nearly put me into the grave, so horrible. That's the only problem, I can't help it, I can't stop sleeping because as soon as I turn my head back, I can see my bed is talking to me, saying:" Come to me! I'm so soft and comfortable! Come over here and have fun with me." You just can't resist it, can you?

Now that I have know I'm in deep trouble, I say I'm going to start now... but guess what? Another BUT... I just just found myslef sitting infront of my laptop and started to enjoy some movies, listening to some songs, facebooking, myspacing and now blogging - how worst is that! Ah.... what a terrible person am I! Looks like if I don't start now, I got to cramp everthing last minute (Well... I suppose is already a last minute right now, cause with all the lectures, lecture notes and reading to do). Hmm.... I wonder how many knowledge that I can put into my small tiny little peanut brain within this 'last minute'? Lets hope for miracle happen - RIGHT...... as if it there are miracles!

- ReaLiseD -

2009-01-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

The moment I woke up...
I realised that I can't make the day without you.

The moment when I was eating...
I realised that I can't eat without you.

The moment when I do my house chaos...
I realised that without you I can't finish them on time.

The moment when I go to bed...
I realised that I can't sleep without you beside me.

So many thing that we have done together...
All the moment that we spend together...
They flashes through my eyes...
I can see all the black and white that we have done together...
This makes me realised that how important you are...
without you this wold means nothing to me...

But it's to late...
Things has changed...
Things changed fast...
Just within a snap...
No sign of it...
No taste of it...
And no smell of it...
Everything just changed without my noticed...

I realised that people doesn't know how to appreciate things...
As time passed by...
I realised that I have been immunised by all this cold hearted people...
My heart is no longer warm...
It has been numb for quite awhile...
I no longer feel the wound that people put on me...

There is a big changes...
Way too big...
I no longer change back the way I am...
I am tired of what you did to me...
I am really tired and sick of your promises and excuses...
You disappoint me...

Too exhausted that I need a break to gaps some air...
everything just going to safocate me...
After all the break that I got...
I decided to let everything go...
There is no way to turn back...

But finally you realised that you can't live without me...
You apologized...
You think that I'm going to accept it...
I try to say to myself...
Accept the apology...
But it's too late...
I'm sorry that I can't accept your apology...
Once my heart has changed...
There is no way to turn back...

Please appreciate what other do for you...
Treat them a little good...
Do realised earlier that everything that they do for you 'cause they love you...
Don't make them change their heart...
Once their heart has changed...
There is no U-Turn...
It's too late now...
Your realised will just make you regret...

- HuMan BeinG -

2009-01-08T05:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes human being are funny...
There are different 'species' of human kind...
Some are very sensible...
Some like to help...
Some love being stupid...
Some like to back step...
Some being selfish...
And some being greedy...
What else can a human being be?

Why can't human being just be one?
Help each other out...
Not being selfish...
Not being greedy...
Not to back step others...
Not being stupid...

Can't they just be a normal human...
Look what they have done 'cause of greediness?
Look what they have done 'cause of selfishness?
And why they want to used and back step others?

'Cause of all this weird human's attitudes...
Others have to suffer from what the weird ones did to them!
The selfishness...
making others living with poverty;
Dumping waste without having second thought...
Making others suffer from side effects that they have made;
Leaving their love ones behind...
Left the others live with sadness and no love...

The greediness...
One will not be enough...
More are needed;
One lover is not enough...
Having own little ones are not enough...
Leave the lover...
Leave the little ones...
Go for another person just because of your needs...
What have you gave them?
Nothing but sorrows...

Human being...
Don't you ever get tired of leaving others?
Don't you ever get tired of being selfish?
Don't you feel sorry for those that you gave them sorrows?

Let's think the other way round...
Look from their point of view...
Try to understand and be one of them for a day...
Take a turn and exchanged...
Will you feel the same like them if they did it to you too?
I'm sure you wanted back your normal life after trying a day...
So please...
Think wisely before you start your evilness...
Think twice before you make a move...
Think all the effects that the others suffer from...

I'm sure there is an angel in human being...
Fight with your evilness...
Be an angel...
Change all the evil thoughts...
Bring back all the goodness...
And make the world a place that is full of happiness and loves...

- oLD memoRies aRe BacK -

2008-12-29T06:56:00.000-08:00

Have been long I have not seen all my old friends.... is about one and a half year ago after my graduation from A level. The last farewell party I miss it too due to the 'busy-ness' of some immigration processes and packing all my stuff. The day I leave, I leave without saying goodbye too. So is like kinda missing the good old times that we spend together - fooling around, bitching around.... ha ha..... you know.... the fun fun time we all have. Even though I am far away from them, we still keep in touch with each other but really very seldom due to the time differences and everyone is always busy with their school works.

Finally, the day I'm waiting for has come, I'm back from Aussie yet still don't have the time to attend any gathering - it sounds pathetic right? Is all because I forced to work so I don't have the time, all my time goes to work, no friends time... Sob..... Sob.... We postpone and postpone our gathering date - I don't know how many times we have change the date and time!? From 22/12, 12pm to 3.30pm; then I have to visit my grandparents on the day so they postpone till 29/12, 12pm at KLCC.

Ah~~ Finally the day has come.... Friends time! We met at KLCC LRT station exit. No specific plan for the day but the 1st thing we think about is our tummy... Yummm~~ lets treat our hungry worms first. So we start the day with a good lunch at Sushi King. We are hungry but we do more talking than eating - I guess we 'eat' the air by talking too much so will be full by then.... hehehe! After some chatting and treats, we when for a second round of treats again. We don't have any specific place to go, all we do is traveling from one spot to another spot for drinks, update ourselves and take lots of pic all day long.

I can't remember much about the details but I think basically that's all about our gathering. Even thought is not that super fun, party type of gathering but it has bring back all the good old memories that we used to have.

- ThE MoMenT tHaT I'm WaiTinG fOr -

2008-11-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

I have been away from home for about 10 months.... Being away from home, away from your love ones and family is not an easy job as people think. Even though I enjoy being alone away from home - no parents, no nagging, no mumbling but still, there are some bit and pieces that make you remember all the things and moment that you spend with your love ones and family (even just a little argue moment). When you have problems who can you speak to? Who will lead you to the right path? Who will give you the right solution to solve your problem? Your family? They are all too far away.... Way too FAR...

- The Moment That I Spend Time With Them -

Being away from home, the only people that you can relied on is your friends. Choosing the right friends or bad friends will lead you to a different path and giving you the different solution when you have problem. There are lots of different poeple I meet - friends that who backstep their own friends, friends who treat you as a rubbish, friends that used you then dump you after using you or friends that really treat you as a friends. Actually I have a question.... Is there such thing call true friends? Are true friends really exists?

This is the 'sweet and bitter' that I have been through with my friends for the last 10 months:

- My So Called Twin n Me At The Cafe -

The sweet moment - The first few months, they show me around makes me feel like home. Then more and more happy things happen - clubbing, exploration, crazy time... hell lot of fun! Skipping classes till our exam comes and end, we all share our hard and fun time together.

- Taking a Walk On A Sunny Day -

The day we always spend time together in the park after a heavy day of lectures, tutorials and assignment. When help are needed during assignment period, we all shared together, having OT together and helping out each other to complete the assignment.

- Having OT To Complete The Assignment -

After all the hardworking.... is time for a break to relax our exhausted mind and soul. Drinking and clubbing is how we celebrate our completion and success. Party like crazy....

- On The Way To The Club -

When Falls come, we all enjoy the scenery outside - the golden yellow leaves that fall from the tree, making the moment much more memorable.... taking pictures and playing in the park making us feel like we are back to our childhood....

- It Falls Time -

Exam period is near, during study week, we all share our knowledge and help each other revice... Combined the pass year paper and tips from the lecturers and library, We all stay the night to burn the midnight oil to prepared for out midterm exam...

When the exam ends..... We all celebrate our completion with wine and champaigne and the party time has come... Drunkers all around the room and laugher that brighten up the whole corridor.

- After Exam Celebration -

Who knows? Happy moment has turn into a nightmare.... Those I so called friends backstep me and my 'Twinny'. We help them when they have problems, we spare some money when they dont have and share our food when they can afford to get some.... But, they used us and dump us after we had been through all this hard time together.....

Everything has changed, nightmare has started, fight and arguement; troublemaker; separation.... all has changed a girl's beautiful dream into a scary nightmare! How could this happen? Well.... I guess this is life.

Everyday trouble head to us, no peaceful moment that I can live with, all just a pile of trouble and problems..... At this moment what I can think of is my family - I just wanted to go home.... HOME.... As time passed by, what I wish for is just a little hope that things will turn better and the time passed faster!

My dream come true.... My exam has finished early and the moment that I'm waiting for has come, I'm going home to see my love ones and my beloved family..... This is the moment that I feel saved and happy agian - the nightmare has gone and now the depressed and sad girl's has back to her happy and peaceful life together with her family and her love ones.....

- A SimPle YeT MeMoraBle BirThDaY -

2008-08-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey.....

It's 19th of August, guess what day is this? It's my 20th BIRTHDAY!! Hmm..... I know it's my birthday but this year is a bit different compared to the few previous year. This year I'm away from home, no parents, no siblings, they are not going to celebrate my birthday with me.

I did not expect that my friends in Aussie are going to celebrate my birthday with me but the things that I did not expect has come true. A little surprise from a few friends of mine - they bought me a small chocolate cake (thanks to the cake 'sponsorer', Micael) with a '2' and a '0' candle on top which make a perfect 20 on it. They sang a birthday song for me, I make a wish and blew the candle. A very warmed birthday celebration, thanks to all my friends - Muku Thomas, Micael, Lyny and Emmanuel.

- My Birthday Cake -

- Micael , me n Lyny -

- Me n Lyny -

- My Younger and Older 'Brother' -

After a celebration.... the next day, my friend and her husband brought us to Casino for a lovely dinner. We have a very nice meal together then we spend some times together chit-chatting away the whole night and some house wine for the accompaniment.

- At The Casino -

- Having A Milkshake After The Main Course -

- A Meal For My Birthday At Casino -

Even thought this year I did not celebrate my birthday with my family but I have my friends and love ones who celebrate for me. I don't expect to have a very grand birthday party, a very simple birthday celebration can be satisfied. A very simple yet memorable birthday that I ever had..... Thanks people!! =)

- ThE HeaDaChE -

2008-02-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

The CNY Holiday is over.......

Still got 2 more days will be leaving, but there's lots of thing I have not pack!! Actually, I have plenty of time to pack but the problem is..... HOW to pack!?

-Look At the MESS-

Day by day, the time past by very fast, now I realised that there is still lots of thing that I have not packed yet, how could it be possible!! Arrgh....... When I look at the mess I do't know wat should I do with the mess. Lots of MESS- Clothes, shoes, cosmetics, towels, sweater even my bed sheet; ALL my personal belongings....... WOW sounds like I'm shifting to a new house again! XD

-MoRe MeSS-

-MeSSssssss-

The other problem is--- I have not get my visa yet!! How could that be?? I am leaving soon, this Thursday!! Is this thursday!! And yet the visa have not been approve!! This give me a headache, real......... HEADACHE. T_T