- Hypnotized -

These few day I have no idea what is wrong with me. I seems like acting weird - can't concentrate in my study while my exam is on this Friday, I tends to day dreaming a lot, feeling nervous, lost sleep and lost my appetite too. I was wondering what is going on with me!? All this sign just started 3 days ago after I talk to a friend on the phone. It started like this:

" My friend called me on a Sunday afternoon, we are having a long conversation. Did I mention it was a he? Yea... is a he. He was asking me when my winter break starts. My winter break starts on the 15th of this month. So he was hoping me to visit Melbourne and spend a couple of days with him during my break because he was missing me and wanted to see me. But the problem is I don't have enough money to pay for the accommodation, I can only afford to pay for the air ticket (parents paying for it... XD). Therefore I said to him that I can't visit him this winter unless I work or else I will not have enough pocket money for the rest of my semester. He seems not quite understand my reason, he keep pushing me and pushing me and giving me lots of option where to stay and blah... blah... blah...!

I was already in a stress mood and he keep forcing me (for those people who know me well, they knows that I have a very high patient level), I don't know how this happen, he was asking me about the reason why I refuses to go to Melbourne, all of a sudden, I was like been hypnotized by someone, I did not know what I am saying the whole time, I lost my patient, burst out and say :' Because I don't see the reason why I have to go to Melbourne!' He was so angry that he hang up on me (I never seen him that angry before, it really scares me). On that time onwards, 'SNAP', I woke up, I can't believe myself that I just say that to him, I hurt him so much that he hang up on me."

After all this happen I realised that I was like been hypnotized the whole time, I did not know what I am doing, I have no idea what I said... this is so weird. Then I woke up, I started to realised that I did something bad that I never did before, I feel so bad and I even scare that I will lost this friendship. I have been thinking about it for days, trying to fix things right but I don't know how... so frustrated! Even though he tell me that he is not mad at me anymore, but I still can feel that he is not happy, he's still upset about what I say and did to him. I start thinking and thinking what I have done, then all the weird sign just pop out - can't concentrated, day dreaming, can't sleep and lost appetide even I feel hungry. This is just so weird! =__=